Awkward & Sweaty
by Miles Preston
Summary: Dipper's going through some really odd and somewhat uncomfortable changes and he handles them in the most funny and awkward way. This is a story with multiple parts. DISCLAIMER: "Gravity Falls" is owned by Alex Hirsch and Disney (c) 2013 EDITOR's NOTE: This was my first attempt at a comedic fan-fic involving "Gravity Falls." Thank you for ALL of your support!
1. Chapter 1

"What's up with me?" asked Dipper as he spoke out loud do himself. "This is the fifth shirt that I sweated out of this week."

Dipper sniffed under his arms and was immediately disgusted by the smell of the shirt.

"Gross…not wearing this a second time."

As Dipper began to pull his shirt off, Mabel busted through the door to their room!

"Hi brother, whatcha up too!?" asked Mabel.

"Mabel, I keep telling you to knock first!" yelled Dipper in frustration.

"Oh, you worry to much. I've seen you without a shirt on anyway!" said Mabel.

"One…don't remind me…and TWO…privacy!" said Dipper as he immediately straightened his shirt to keep it on in spite of the fact that it smelled.

"Also, you smell something?" asked Mabel. She began to walk closer to Dipper and started to sniff over to his direction. "Do you know you smell!?"

Dipper blushed.

"Maybe…that's not the point, I gotta go," said Dipper.

"Dipper, wait a minute," said Mabel as she grabbed Dipper's arm to stop him from running off so quickly from the room. "Grunkle Stan wanted you to come downstairs for something, but don't know what!"

"OK, fine, I'll check with him to see what's up," said Dipper as he rubbed his left arm Mabel grabbed.

"Also, Dipper, you're sort of sweaty! You sure you're feeling ok?" asked Mabel.

"I'm FINE! JUST FINE!" said Dipper in an almost panicked voice.

As Dipper walked down stairs, he saw Grunkle Stan come around the hallway from the main entrance of the mystery shack.

"Oh good, you're here, I need to ask you something?" said Stan.

"Uh, yes Grunkle Stan!?" asked Dipper.

"I wanted to know if you still remember the talk we had…and…" Grunkle Stan stopped speaking, realizing he smelled something too.

"What's that foul stench," asked Grunkle Stan."

"Uh, I don't smell anything," said Dipper.

"It's his shirt…and I think his body…I think he's turning into a zombie," said Mabel.

Grunkle Stan leaned forward toward Dipper and sniffed once, almost repelling back.

"Eeesh, Dipper, you shower or what!?" asked Grunkle Stan.

"That's the problem, I've been showering two or three times a day, I've got these odd rashes and I can't hit the high notes to my favorite music anymore," says Dipper.

"Also, when I grabbed your arm, you were really sweaty," says Mabel.

"Relax, boy, you're just going through change stuff, we talked about it, remember?" said Grunkle Stan.

"Actually, you talked to me about.." says Mabel as she stops herself from speaking about the incident involving Dipper and her switching bodies.

"We'll talk later, right now I gotta count some money, and then, we'll talk again about it all. Have questions ready!" says Grunkle Stan as he walks into the next room.

"Mabel…what's he going to talk about!?" asks Dipper.

Mabel stops and reflects on that awful moment when Grunkle Stan thought that he was lecturing Dipper, but Mabel was in Dipper's body at the time. She slowly comes back to reality and responds to Dipper.

"You got about 1 hour to enjoy your childhood," says Mabel with a smile. "I feel SO bad for you brother…..well, bye!"

As Mabel runs back up stairs she leaves a confused and almost lost Dipper. He wasn't sure what to think. What was happening to him, he thought.

"This stinks!" says Dipper out loud.

"Sure does, take a shower boy," yells Grunkle Stan from the other room.

Dipper went to take one more shower and put on a new, clean shirt. He went straight to the living room and sat down to watch TV. His hair felt like it was already getting oiler even after a few minutes of getting washed. Not to mention that he was scratching a lot as stubs of hair seemed to appear in places. He felt sort of miserable.

Grunkle Stan suddenly calls out for Dipper to come into the office.

"Dipper, get in here will ya," says Grunkle Stan as he puts the rest of his money into the safe in the wall in his office.

"OK Dip, sit down, we'll have a man to man talk, you and me," says Stan.

"Look, Grunkle Stan, I think I can handle…" Dipper was immediately cut off. Grunkle Stan was not about to let him get out of this.

"I figure I can start off with questions and concerns you may have," said Grunkle Stan. "Anything that comes to mind!"

"Shouldn't Mom and Dad be the ones to fix this problem?" asked Dipper.

"Of course not! why do you think I got this manual: I'm sweaty and awkward part 2."

"For the same reason that you accidentally blew up the battery in your car!" says Dipper.

"That was Gideon setting up my car to explode It and you know it," says Grunkle Stan.

"Let's start with chapter one…says Grunkle stan.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been an hour and a half and Dipper and Grunkle Stan were still in the office, talking about all of Dipper's issues. Mabel came down stairs and noticed the door still closed shut, hearing faintly in a muffled sound Dipper and Grunkle Stan talking. As she headed to the main entrance of the Mystery Shack to take a look at the store for a second, Wendy walks in.

"Yo Mabel, what's up!?" asked Wendy.

"Oh, HI Wendy!" said Mabel with a big smile.

"What are you so chipper about!?" asked Wendy as she jumped onto the counter to sit down.

"I'm chipper about Dipper. He's learning the facts of life with Stan!" said Mabel.

"Uh oh!" said Wendy.

The door to the office opens and footsteps could be heard getting louder and louder as they hit the wood floor. Grunkle Stan was the first to walk into the shack's storefront.

"HI guys, we're done talking! Let's get right to work! Dipper, I hope you take what I learn to heart! Everything is everything…as the kids say!" said Stan as he walked off. "Wendy help me get these posters and junk outta the car!"

As Wendy and Stan walked outside of the store and towards the car, Mabel didn't waste time walking up to Dipper to ask him a question.

"Uh, so, Dipper, how'd it go!?" asked Mabel.

Dipper simply stood there. His pupils completely dilated and more quiet than he's ever been. He turned around and walked away. Mabel could see him go through the living room, then upstairs and a few minutes later hear their room door slam shut.

"He'll be fine!" said Mabel as she tried to convince himself.

"What's up, ham bone!" asked Soos as he walked into the storefront.

"Hi Soos, everything is fine I guess," said Mabel. "Dipper's having a hard time right now."

"When isn't he?" laughs Soos. "What's the problem?"

"Stan had 'the talk' with him," says Mabel.

Soos begins to scream and panic and run around Mabel in circles and then out the door.

"He'll be fine!" says Mabel. "Besides, I got over it and came to terms with it and….well….wait, I never truly got over it!"

Mabel begins to scream and run around in circles and ran upstairs to her room.

She opens the door and sees Dipper with his headphones on, laying on his bed in a fetal position. The music was up loud and Mabel could tell it was Icelandic sensation pop singer, Baba, playing.

Mabel sat on her bed and stared at Dipper. She waited for the song to stop. She could tell the song was almost over.

"Dipper!? I understand, it's okay!"

"Mabel, I don't know how to talk to women before. I don't know what a 401k is. And how am I supposed to know if Wendy has a booty! Oh my gosh, she does have a booty! I'm a sexist pig!"

Waddles oinks as he walks past the open room door.

"See, even Waddles agrees, and he's, he's a pig!" says a now shaken Dipper.

"For starters dude, calm down!" says Soos who was standing at the door of Dipper and Mabel's room.

"How long were you standing there," asked Dipper.

"I need friends," says Soos. "It's a natural occurrence. Everything is operating normally. You'll be fine!"

Dipper actually started blinking as he listened to Soos.

"I mean, granted, you're gonna start being a little more emotional, a little more aggressive, more territorial and desire to be more independent and a little clumsy, but otherwise, you'll be fine….or is that wolves!? I can't remember!"

"Epic foreshadowing!" yells Mabel "Awkward and sweaty, remember Dipper. I understand too, duh!" says Mabel.

"Yeah, exactly," says Soos. "By the way, dude, have you showered!?"

"Yes!" says Dipper with an annoyed voice.

Soos and Mabel dart their eyes toward each other and then back to Dipper.

"Second time today, right!?"

"Try third!"

In his frustration, Dipper falls to the bed, back first.

"I can't get Wendy outta my mind. Even Pacifica I think is kinda cute!" says Dipper.

"Uh, ewww!" says Mabel under her breath.

"How's that!?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing!" says Mabel as she smiles.

"I'll help in the hygiene department!" says Soos. "I'm pretty good about that, well, for a year now!"

"And I'll help with the girl department. So, who you wanna holla at, Wendy, Grenda, Candy, who!?" asked Mabel.

"Duh, Wendy of course! But I think I got that department handled," says Dipper. "I can talk to any one of them if I wanted too, especially Wendy!"

"Yeah, and maybe Grunkle Stan will give me another raise!" says Soos.

"Hey Soos, if you come back downstairs and take my shift for the day, I'll give you a raise," yells Grunkle Stan from downstairs.

"Hey, that's no fair!" yells Wendy.

"Nobody likes a whiner, Wendy!" says Stan.


	3. Chapter 3

Dipper walked ahead of Mabel followed by Soos as they came down the stairs. His face was like that of someone who knew that it would somehow work out.

"So, like I said Dipper, you're going to be fine," Mabel said as she pat Dipper on the shoulder.

"Hi Dipper," said Wendy as she leaned against the wall next to the staircase. "I hear you had the talk, you ok bud!?"

"Talk…ha, what talk, Wendy, I don't know what you're talking about!"

"Well, Mabel told me!"

"Mabel told you!?" said a now irritated Dipper as he turned her head towards Mabel.

"I might have said something about it," said Mabel as she kept a smile, but a nervous looking smile at that.

Dipper groaned as he slapped his hand onto his forehead, looking downward at the floor, almost too embarrassed to face Wendy now.

"Nothing to be ashamed of, we all gotta go through it sometime! Also, you guys smell something!?"

"NO, NO YOU DON'T, COME ON SOOS!" yells Dipper in a panic as he grabs Soos and runs out the front door. As the door slams shut, Mabel turns to Wendy and simply says, "he'll be fine!"

Wendy began to laugh as she and Mabel walked over to the kitchen to grab a snack.

"Yeesh, and I thought that my brothers' going through puberty was hilarious!"

"Girl, I know! Why do boys act so cray-cray over this kinda thing!"

"I know, right! I mean, come on, Mabel, you're handling yourself well growing up and it's not the end of the world."

As they walk through the living room they see the TV is on but muted on a cheesy love story type of movie.

"Oh, I LOVE this movie!" says Mabel.

They began to sit and watch the movie together.

Meanwhile, Dipper and Soos make their way up a two-lane highway leaving the Gravity Falls city limit. Dipper sighed as he turned his head towards his window, watching all of the large pine-trees whiz by as they proceeded along the skinny county highway. Thoughts ran through his head about where they were going, wondering if his issues will be fully solved by just this road trip alone. Dipper finally broke the silence.

"So, why are we leaving Gravity Falls again?" asked Dipper.

"Well, dude, I don't shop within town too much. Nothing's here, so, I do the next best thing. I go this shopping mall down the road. It's a small outside shopping center that has EVERYTHING I need. It'll have everything you need too!"

Dipper sat quietly as he nodded his head in agreement. As Soos was taking a drink from his soda, Dipper asked a question.

"Soos….?"

"mmmhmmm?" as he chugged his drink.

"Have you…well…you…well…ever kissed a girl before?"

Soos immediately spat the soda he was drinking across the windshield and swerved the truck but for a few seconds over into the right median while destroying a wooden stop sign in the process. Soos began to cough, trying to get his composure back while wiping off the driver side windshield at the same time.

"So…sorry little dude, wha…what you ask me again!?"

Dipper was too busy trying to regain his own composure, huffing and puffing to get air. He was nearly scared out of his mind.

"Uh…I almost don't remember! Nevermind!"

"I do…um, the kissing thing! Have I ever kissed a, well, once! But, that was it. I was a pig at the time I met the girl somewhow!"

"Oh yeah, right, right!" said Dipper as he turned his attention back to the road, avoiding any further discussion about the matter with Soos.

"But remember, you don't have to rush anything. Everything will come in time for you, and I do mean everything. In fact, look in the glove compartment, you'll see a picture of me when I was about your age!"

Dipper reached for the glove compartment, opened it and saw a photo of what looked like a 12 year old Soos and his mother. He was just as big and had pimples and wore glasses. His teeth were lined with braces and he wore a hat that had a pine tree on it, much like Dipper's.

"Yikes!"

"Exactly little dude! Like looking into the future, right?!"

Dipper begins to scream, causing Soos to jump in surprise and swerve the car again, yet, into another wooden stop sign. A few minutes later, but to Dipper what seemed like hours, they finally make it to the shopping mall Soos was talking about. The mall had two stores next to each other that conveniently had everything that Dipper needed.

"First, dude, I'm going to give you what my parents or uncle or anyone didn't give me!"

"A reason to live!?" asked Dipper

"What, no dude, look!" says Soos as he points out the two stores. One was a clothing store so Dipper could change his look. Another was a spa for men so Dipper can get the odor situation taken care of.

"Wait, Soos, you don't have to do this…"

"Dude, you've helped me so much here in Gravity Falls. Besides, what are friends for! Now, let's go to the spa first. Because, on the real dude, you smell funny!"

"Okay, okay!" says Dipper as he rolled his eyes and they made their way to the spa. The minute they walked in, a man in a T-shirt and black slacks and black framed glasses appeared in front of them. The minute he spoke, he carried a voice much like Arnold Swartzenegger.

"What is up, girly man! Von Hummer is here to pump you up!"

"Thanks Von, but no exercising today. But I actually need you to take care of my boss's nephew, Dipper Pines. He's here with me today and I'm gonna help him with picking up some things and getting treated for the…well…you may can already tell!"

"Soos!?" says Dipper in a slight whisper, embarrassed about what was just shared.

"We can help with that, come with me, LITTLE Dipper!"

Von Hummer leads Dipper to a section of the store that feature rows of body spray, deodorant and soap.

Von Hummer proceeded to look for the right product and finally asked Dipper, "Let's see, how old are you little man!"

"12…why!?" asked a slightly anxious Dipper.

"Hold these, this is going to make you smell like a man and not like failure. Also, wash with this! And This! And you'll need these bars!" said Von Hummer as he kept giving Dipper several products that suddenly fell to the floor, overwhelming Dipper.

"Somebody get this kid some muscles….and a cart!" said Von Hummer.

As one of the employees picked up the items and placed them in a cart, Dipper noticed a lit display with a spray can shining under a Plexiglas case. Above the display, hanging on the ceiling, was a sign that read "Twenty-Something…the MOST powerful scent on earth!"

"How about that?" asked Dipper as he pointed to the display.

"Oh, that, that's too much for you, little man. Just one whiff of that will drive all the ladies crazy for you! It's still an experimental one. If you're lucky, we'll give you just a sample," says Von Hummer.

Dipper noticed that Soos was looking at the very same display and he was buying it at the counter. He knew what he needed to do.

After they purchased the items at the spa they went next door to the clothing store.

Dipper was about to get a complete and total clothing upgrade. But his mind was still on the can of "Twenty-Something!"


	4. Chapter 4

Dipper and Soos make it back to Gravity Falls and back to the Mystery Shack by late evening. As Soos pulls the truck up towards the front of the house side of the shack, they notice a blue, flickering light from the window. It had to be the TV. As Dipper jumped out of the truck and grabbed his clothing store and spa bags from behind the seat, Soos was stretching as he stepped out of the driver's side of the truck. What Dipper didn't know was that the tossing and rolling of the pick-up truck on the way back home caused the can of Twenty-Something deodorant spray to roll from Soos' bag to Dipper's.

"I wonder what's on TV that's so good," asked Dipper.

"Might be a monster movie flick!" said Soos.

Dipper and Soos rushed to the front door with their bags and as the door opened, they saw Wendy and Mabel sobbing their eyes out while sitting on the couch. They were holding rolled up tissues and around their feet was left over tissue from their tears.

"The movie must be terrible," says Soos.

"Oh, no," said Wendy as she blew her nose. "We're watching a love movie. You wouldn't understand."

Dipper and Soos stared at Wendy and Mabel and then immediately turned to one another and said in unison, "chick flick!"

As Dipper walked upstairs to begin the process of cleaning up, the sound from the TV in the background was of a man professing his undying love for his girl, causing Dipper to think for a moment about what he was hearing.

"So Wendy likes chick flicks, huh!?"

Dipper jumped into the shower and after a few minutes of using the material from the spa, he jumped out and dried off. He quickly made it back to his room and locked the door and got out of his bag the can of Twenty-Something. He looked at the back of the can and read the surgeon general warning label.

"Shake before spraying. Do not use if under 18. Experimental. May cause mood swings and other physically hazardous and or strange results. Use at your own risk…..pfft…whatever! I should be fine"

Dipper opens up the can, shakes it per the instructions and sprays under his arms and around his body, causing the room to smell like a mixture of a body spray and cologne. He starts coughing because of the strong scent but begins to get used to it. Afterwards, he switches into a brand new button down shirt and a pair of khaki slacks.

"Dude, you ready to show off your new look…" yelled Soos from downstairs.

"Yeah, I'm ready!" yelled Dipper as he looked himself in the mirror. "Alright, Dipper, let's do this!"

As Dipper walks out of the room and down the stairs, Soos get's Mabel and Wendy's attention by speaking loudly, announcing Dipper's entrance into the living room.

"Ladies, the new Dipper Pines!" says Soos as Dipper walks to the middle of the living room pathway and into the living room.

"How's it going, guys!?"

"Woah, that smell…it's," says Wendy as she smells a certain kind of odor.

"It didn't work did it….?" Says Dipper as his smile turns into a face of disappointment.

"You're, you're pretty awesome, and that scent, so wonderful!" says Wendy as she walks up to Dipper to be closer to him.

"I don't know what it is, but…but…you're the best brother I ever, EVER had! I COULD JUST SQUEEZE YOU!" yells Mabel as she hugs Dipper crazily.

"Out of the way, Mabel, I wanna hug Dipper," says Wendy.

"You wanna piece of me," says Mabel.

"Ladies, ladies, calm down, after all, I just want to just hang out with you two," says Dipper. "Just my sister and Wendy and Soos."

"Looking sharp Dipper, lookin' sharp!" says Soos.

"You hear that, Wendy!? Dipper wants to be with his sister because I'm his best sister in the world."

"No way, he wants to hang with me because I'm just awesome like that!"

"NO, ME!"

"Why would he want to hang out with his sister when he clearly likes me!"

Dipper simply stood there and smiled as they went back and forth in their argument. Later, Dipper and Soos sat between Wendy and Mabel, with Dipper sitting next to Wendy and Soos next to Mabel. They watched a few movies overnight and later went to bed.

The next morning, Dipper woke up to the sound of someone calling out his name. He turned over from his side to his back and raised up from the bed, only to notice that it was Wendy that was holding a tray of breakfast for him.

"Woah! Wendy, do you realize that its, like, 6 AM in the morning!"

"I couldn't help but welcome you to this beautiful morning. You're just so awesome I could just cry."

"Uh…hehe,….okay….well, uh, thanks!"

"You're so cute when you are awkward and curious about stuff!"

"Thanks…you're cute too!"

He didn't realize what he just said until seconds later. He thought to himself, "did I really just say that upfront."

"Here's some breakfast for you. I made eggs, bacon, toast and pancakes," said Wendy as she placed the food tray just above Dipper's legs.

"Uh, thanks Wendy, but you really didn't have too…."

"Oh nonsense, I couldn't possibly let the sweetest boy I know go without a continental Gravity Falls breakfast."

"Uh…can you excuse me for just a sec, I gotta use the bathroom," said Dipper with a grin on his face.

He moved the tray over to the side and got out of bed and rushed to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

"Wow, what's going on, could it be the," says Dipper as he goes to the medicine cabinet and pulls out the can of Twenty-Something. "It doesn't say anything on the can, but I wonder if it's the smell of this stuff."

While Dipper removed his shirt to spray more of the Twenty-Something onto himself, he was shocked by his new discovery.

"Woah….aaawesome…." says Dipper as he notices his new found chest and armpit hair. "Well… then, there's nothing wrong here, moving right along."

With a huge smile on his face, he commences to spraying more of the Twenty-Something over his body and under his arms even though the smell was still strong from yesterday. The fumes from the spray get into his throat and he begins to cough and leaving the feeling of the fumes going into his throat.

Dipper walks out of the bathroom and sees Wendy still standing around.

"Sorry for the wait, Wendy," says Dipper with a shocking look on his face. His voice has changed entirely, going from his regular voice to a deeper and more mature tone.

"I would've waited ALL day Dipper, now come and eat your breakfast, it's getting cold!"

After having breakfast, Dipper could faintly hear the sound of the lawn mower. It was Mabel doing Dipper's chore of mowing the lawn on the Mystery Shack store side. He saw Mabel wave at him just outside the window.

Wendy and Dipper made their way downstairs and saw Grunkle Stan inside the store behind the counter, counting money.

"Oh Dipper, good, you're up, you feeling okay since yesterday!?"

"I'm feeling fine, Grunkle Stan, VERY fine!"

"Wow, new clothes and a new voice, you're finally becoming a man! About time! I was beginning to worry about ya!

"Oh no, Grunkle Stan, I'm 110% man now," says Dipper in his new authoritative and confident voice. "And now, if you would excuse me, I must go into the city and give my new look a test run! Don't wait up!"

"What's with the smell!?" says Grunkle Stan to himself as Dipper and Mabel leave.

"Morning' Mabel, great work you're doing out here," says Dipper.

"Anything for my brother! Also, did your voice change, COOL!"

"Thank you, thank you! It was just my time!"

"Hey look, its Candy and Grenda, HI GUYS, CHECK OUT MY BROTHER!" yells Mabel.

Wendy simply rolled her eyes as she stood next to Dipper.

"Girl, don't make me take off my earrings. You are ackn' too cray-cray!" says Mabel.

"Oh no you didn't!" says Wendy.

"Now, now, ladies, no need to fight!" says Dipper.

Grenda walks up to see what the big deal is. She notices Dipper wearing his new clothes and smells different as well.

"Uh, Mabel, its just your brother, I mean its not like…" says Grenda who suddenly stops speaking.

"Like…what, Grenda!?" says Dipper.

"Like…I think I'm totally in love with you," says Grenda.

"Candy like Dipper, he's super number one," says Candy.

"Exactly!" says Dipper.

Dipper begins to think to himself:

"I wonder if this is sort of wrong….but hey….girls like me….I'm not sweaty anymore….life's great!"

"Hey Wendy, what you doing hanging with these kiddies," says Robbie V as he pulls up in his van.

Dipper's smile turns to complete disdain. But instead of just anger, something else boils up, as though he's willing to fight just for the sake of it.


	5. Chapter 5

"Woah, Dipper looks more like a dork than ever," says Robbie as he approaches the girls and Dipper in the middle of the flock of girls.

The minute those words left Robbie's mouth, Wendy, Mabel, Grenda and Candy turned their attention to Robbie V and their facial expressions turned to disgust and anger.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?" says Grenda as she walks up to Robbie. Grenda grabs Robbie V and leads him towards the side of the Mystery Shack.

"Wha…what are you doing, let go of me!" yells a now panicking Robbie. Dipper simply stands there with his hands in his pockets, watching Robbie get the harshest treatment he's seen him get since Rumble McSkirmish. Grenda tosses Robbie V head first into giant trash can on the side of the shack.

"Trash talkers go into the trash," yells Grenda as she turns around and smiles at Dipper and walks back over to the rest of the girls.

"Ladies, what say we head over to the diner, I'm starving," says Dipper as he and the ladies walk along his side, leaving Robbie in the trash can behind them.

Dipper and the ladies arrive just before the rush for lunch, surprising some of the guests who walk in.

"Lazy Susan, I'll have some pancakes," says Dipper as he sits down in one of the booths, as Wendy sits next to Dipper and Mabel to his left side and Grenda and Candy on the other side of the table.

"Sure cutie, whose paying!?"

"I am, he can eat my entire pay check away! Anything for DP," says Wendy with a huge grin on his face, hugging Dipper.

"Well, you heard the lady Lazy Susan! They can't resist the Dipper, I guess!" says Dipper. She notices that Lazy Susan can smell the scent from the Twenty-Something.

"I'll do better than that, hun, I'll give you free pancakes, on the house!"

Dipper grins, nodding his head with an affirmative yes.

"You ladies want anything?"

"Just you!" says Candy.

"Awesome!" says Dipper as he kicks his feet up and places his arms behind his head. "Ahem"

The minute Dipper made that sound, Mabel, Wendy, Candy and Grenda began to feed Dipper his pancakes without Dipper having to move a muscle.

"I should've thought of this a long time ago," he thought to himself.

Soos walks into the diner and realizes that Dipper is surrounded by Wendy, Mabel, Grenda and Candy. He was very surprised because this was something very uncommon for Dipper.

"Woah, are you a player now or what!?" asks Soos.

"You want me to get rid of him, Dipper!?" asks Grenda. "Is he bothering you!?"

"NO, no, please, Soos is cool, Soos, what's up man. Hey, you changed my life, thanks," says Dipper.

"Dude, what's with the voice, you sound like an announcer again."

"Let's just say I'm finally becoming a maaa…uh…a maaa," Dipper tries to finish his sentence but his voice begins to crack. In the process of making him nervous, he begins to sweat.

"Dipper, you ok, you getting awfully worked up there," says Soos.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, the ladies are just feeding me," says Dipper as he tries to fake his voice into being deep.

"Hey, also, I think I forgot my can of Twenty-Something, do you have it!?" asked Soos.

"Oh, uh, a can, a can of waaaat" Dipper struggles to keep it together but his voice cracks again and again and goes back to normal. "Uh, you're can of Twenty-Something…that was YOUR can!?"

"Yes, dude, do you or do you not have it," asks Soos.

Dipper begins to sweat more than he ever has and get's incredibly nervous.

"Is it just me, or is it kinda warm in here. Must be the weather, right guys!?" says Dipper.

"It's you…and you're starting to smell horrible," yells Mabel. "Wait a sec, what are we doing here at the diner…and why am I holding a pancake towards you!? Dipper!?"

"Oh, look at the time, Soos, we gotta go," says Dipper as he crawls underneath the table and under the other side and grabs Soos to hurry out of the diner.

"OK dude, what's going on!?" asks Soos. "You're voice was funny in there, you smelled like…like…"

"OK, I confess, I used some of your Twenty-Something. I was gonna give it back to you, I'm sorry. I was desperate! I had too! Plus, did you see how all those girls were treating me," says Dipper.

"Seriously, dude, that's not cool!" says Soos with a firmness in his voice.

"Well it's not like you were going to ever need it!"

Dipper realized what he just said, covering his mouth immediately. He wasn't sure what caused such a jerk like outburst. Soos simply turns around and walks away.

"Soos, I'm sorry!" says Dipper. "Soos!?"

"Talk to me later when you come to your senses!" yells back Soos. He watches Soos get back into his truck and drive off towards the shack. Chances are he was going to explain to Stan what was going on, or maybe not go to the shack at all today after what Dipper said.

"Dipper!?"

That familiar voice was Mabel. Dipper turned around and she had a very angry look on her face.

"YOU WERE KNOWINGLY CONTROLLING OUR MINDS WITH DEODARANT SPRAY!?" yelled Mabel.

"Mabel, it wasn't on purpose! I didn't know THAT would be the side effect. Here, if it makes you feel better," says Dipper as he lifts up his shirt. "See, armpit hair…and…chest hair, how's that for results, right!?"

"But don't you care about people liking you for you. Changes are hard sometimes, but this isn't right and you know better, Dipper!"

"You don't understand, Mabel, I need this!"

"No you don't, we already like you, but right now, you're acting weird and making other people feel that way too."

"I didn't ask you for your opinion, Mabel!"

"Well, I didn't ask for my brother to be a jerk!"

"If you gotta problem then go where Soos is going…away!"

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

Mabel and Dipper part ways as she walks back into the diner and gather's the girls to go home. Dipper figures that now the truth will be out, that Dipper sprayed a can of stuff on him to get the attention. What's worse, Dipper could smell the scent wearing off and he was starting to smell somewhat rank again.

Dipper walked around "Gravity Falls" for nearly the whole day until dusk before ever considering heading back to the shack. He sat on a bench within town, hoping that he doesn't run into anyone familiar.

While sitting on the bench, he notices a police car pull up. It's Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland pulling up slowly towards where Dipper is sitting.

"Well, well, if it isn't little Dipper," says Sheriff Blubs.

"Little dippy pines, want us to get you some ice cream and then drop you off at the shack," says Deputy Durland.

"That depends, can you even spell ice cream!" says Dipper.

The statement shocks Durland but begins to upset Sheriff Blubs. Dipper wasn't sure what was happening. He would never just back-talk like that, at least not out loud. He suddenly remembered the side effects of the Twenty-Something spray…that it may cause mood swings.

"Excuse me, young man, but you don't talk to him like that. I do, but only because I'm allowed too, because I have a badge and a police car!"

"Right, right, and a brain the size of walnut. Look guys, I don't have time for this. I'm going home because you guys are getting on my nerve! It's guys like you that make mall cops look like Homeland Security," says Dipper. He tries to stop talking, but he almost can't. "I mean, come on, Durland, can you even spell F.B.I.!?"

Durland begins to cry and Sheriff Blubs turns on the red and blue lights on the squad car.

"That's it, Pines! You're under arrest," yells Blubs as he jumps out of the car immediately.

"Oh yeah, whose gonna arrest me, Chuck Norris!?"

Blubs grabs Dipper and pushes him against the hood of the police car and pulls Dipper's arms behind his back to handcuff him.

"Hey, what you are doing?! STOP! ARE YOU CRAZY!?" yells Dipper, causing a huge scene in the middle of town. "You can't arrest me, I'm DIPPER PINES! YOU'RE DISRESPECTING MY STATUS AS A MAN! I WANT MY LAWYER PRESENT!"

The yelling was slightly silenced as soon as Blubs shoved Dipper into the back of the police car with the windows let up and somewhat sound proved.

Dipper was still boiling with anger, struggling to calm down and control himself. Deep down, he wanted everything back to normal. He wanted everything right again, but his pride was hindering him. He grit his teeth in what felt like deep, inner pain. He started to realize that he wasn't himself. He wasn't even wearing his trademark hat and regular clothes. He wanted the real Dipper back, in spite of the changes he was going through. The ride in the back of the squad car felt like hours, but, it was only a few minutes.

Dipper lifted his head up and noticed that they were pulling up to the Mystery Shack. But, another car was in the yard.

Dipper and Mabel's parents were here and parked next to them was Soos's truck. He sighed, knowing that his punishment was going to be severe.

"Well, here we are," says Sheriff Blubs. "Now, you gonna come quietly or what!?"

Dipper simply nodded as he stepped out of the back of the car. His hands were still handcuffed as he walked towards the shack in shame, followed behind Blubs and Durland. Blubs rings the doorbell and opening the door is Grunkle Stan.

"Dipper!? Where have you been?" asks Stan.

"Mr. Pines, Dipper was a bit of a handful, I trust you can handle him from here," says Sheriff Blub.

"Don't worry, I'll think of something," says Dipper's dad who peers over Stan's shoulders.

Mabel suddenly jumps out in between Stan and their Dad. She notices Dipper's hands behind his back shackled from the handcuffs. He can tell in Dipper's eyes a kind of sincerity. That he really did mess up and genuinely didn't mean what he meant earlier.

"Is there anything you want to say, Dipper!?" says Deputy Durland as Blubs removes Dipper's handcuffs.

"Yes…first, Mabel," but Dipper couldn't finish his sentence. Mabel hugs Dipper immediately and whispers in his ears, "I forgive you."

After a few seconds, in unison, they do the final part of their hug together…"pat, pat!"

Also, I'm sorry for earlier on the street.

"We better get going then," says Blubs as he and Durland walk away from the door. Grunkle Stan closes the door as Dipper walks in.

"Can you tell me what police officers are doing escorting you home in handcuffs!?

"I insulted those two officers," says Dipper.

"Don't worry, I do that all the time," says Stan. "He must get it from me! Come on, you guys just got here, Dipper's first time getting in trouble, I love it!

Stan and Dipper and Mabel's father walk into the other side of the house while Mabel and Dipper stand in the living room.

"Mabel…I'm sorry about what I said. I was a jerk. I just…I guess….this stuff is hard for me right now. I don't know how to really handle it!"

"We'll just handle it together, one day at a time, ok," says Mabel with a grin.

"Cool, thanks Mabel. By the way, did you tell Wendy or the other girls about this!?"

"Nope, just our little secret. But do it again, and I'll hurt you…severely!"

"Got it!" said Dipper as he chuckled and as Dipper and Mabel playfully shoved each other.

"Oh, Mabel, where's Soos!?"

Soos was sitting on the roof top of the mystery shack. A few minutes later, Dipper climbed up, not too far from the very same spot that he and Tyrone talked while a party was taking place during the "Double Dipper" incident.

"Soos…I'm…I'm sorry about earlier! I was wrong and I was a jerk," says Dipper.

"It's okay!"

"No its NOT okay! You've always tried to help me and I was just being, well, kinda stupid there."

"No, seriously, its okay. I looked at the side effects, I'm surprised you didn't turn into, like, a killer machine or something!"

Dipper began to chuckle.

"I mean, how did you come to your senses!?"

"I don't know, just, something deep within my heart just told me how wrong I was."

"You know what, little dude, you're a good man!"

Dipper was surprised for a second. He just realized what Soos called him, but he needed to hear it again.

"Wha…what did you say, Soos!"

"I said, you're a good man!" says Soos with a grin.

"Thanks man," says Dipper as both he and Soos looked at the night sky together.

In between their silence, they could hear the crickets and the other sounds of the "Gravity Falls" night sky.

"By the way….can I have my Twenty-Something back!" asked Soos.


	6. Epilogue

Wendy was in the Mystery Shack behind the counter, reading a magazine. Her concentration was broken the minute that Dipper walked in.

"Hi Dipper! What's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you something. You've been a good friend, and, really, more than that to me,"

"Well, you too man."

"You didn't pick on me in spite of the awkwardness of things…so….thanks. You're awesome and…well…I…" before Dipper could say the words, he could hear the car horn honk twice.

He sighed. He figured he probably would never be able to tell Wendy how he felt.

"Well, my parents and Mabel are about to head out, so I guess until the summer, this is, well…" says Dipper but is immediately interrupted by Wendy placing her finger on his lips.

"It's not goodbye…just…seeya later," says Wendy as she leans downward towards Dipper, meeting him face to face. Dipper stares, lightly grabs hold of her shoulders and kisses her on the lips. It felt like forever.

Once the kiss stopped, Dipper whispered, "seeya later" and left outta the front door.


End file.
